That's My Story and I'm Sticking To It: 2012

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

DO IT YOURSELF

MICHELLE HELPS WITH THE CAULKING

Okay, Thanksgiving might not be the best time to stalk and attack strangers, but I'm giving it serious thought!

This past month, I re-caulked my shower.

Don't EVER do that!

Oh, you'll see ads and U-tube videos showing how "easy and fun!" it is to do. Don't fall for it! Don't do it!

Here's my story (and I'm sticking to it).

GIDGET AND MICHELLE HELP INSPECT THE SHOWER

Our shower was leaking. It got so bad that we had a puddle in the basement. I kept smelling mold or mildew and eventually Ray (my husband) reported dampness in the basement. We could turn on the water in the shower all day long with no leaks. But if we took a shower, it leaked!!

What's up with that!

I patched a little spot in the shower and thought the problem was solved. But, NOOOO. Next shower, drips in the basement.

So I watched a video about re-caulking the shower. Ah! That didn't look too hard. Easy, if not fun, right?

I sat cross-legged in the shower floor for HOURS each day (I am not exaggerating) digging out every particle of the silicone caulk.

YOU HAVE TO BE SMALL TO DO THIS

I cut and dug and pulled out caulk with needle-nosed pliers. I rubbed and wiped with alcohol. I scraped the tiny bits that clung to the shower. Whoever built this house should be shot! I discovered that the sloppy builder left big cracks between the bottom and side of the shower (in some places) and put gobs of caulk in there. All the instructions on the caulk and videos say silicone caulk WILL NOT STICK TO ITSELF - YOU MUST REMOVE EVERY VESTIGE OF THE OLD CAULK!

SOAK WITH ALCOHOL AND SCRAPE
REPEAT
REPEAT

You could have performed surgery on the shower floor by the time I finished. Except I wouldn't have let you mess up my clean field of operation!

THERE IS NO COMFORTABLE POSITION IN HERE

Then I let that rascal dry for days! We put a heater and fan in there and waited. And waited. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the alcohol has WATER in it and it stayed damp inside the cracks forever. I check by sticking a Q-tip in there every few hours. Finally I began to caulk.

I put painter's tape down, c a r e f u l l y drew my caulk along the seams, s m o o t h e d the caulk and removed the tape. It looked great!

Then I waited several days for the caulk to "cure". No way was I going to jump the gun and wet my caulking prematurely.

I checked my caulk daily. I got down on my knees with a flashlight and examined every inch. To my horror, I discovered what could be a couple of tiny, microscopic lesions in the caulk! Oh No! I felt dizzy and sick. What could be done? What could be done? My mind echoed with threats of silicone caulk NOT STICKING TO ITSELF! "It will stick to everything, except itself," the video guru intoned somberly.

The little cracks might not leak, might not go all the way through, but how would I know? Back to the computer - trying to find some way to fix things without suffering through all the agony again. No help.

I called a friend who was socializing with friends who were plumbers. He passed on my questions and concerns to his friends.

"Just go ahead a lay another bead of caulk down," the nice man said. "If it's totally clean, it will stick."

I CAULK, THEREFORE I AM . . . . TIRED
NOTE THE DARK CIRCLES UNDER THE EYES

Yea!!! "Okay, I told my friend, I'll take his advice, but get his address before he leaves, because if this doesn't work, I'm hiring someone to take him out!"

My friend passed on this threat and added, "Isn't she sweet!?"

Well, it worked! So far as I can tell there is no leak from the bottom of the shower and the caulk is sticking perfectly. BUT - - -

There is still a leak! After the shower is over, water is pooling on the floor in front of the shower! About a quarter of a cup of water comes out, apparently from under the shower! What the heck!

I'll keep you posted on the repair. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

POOR, TIRED, OLD BETH!

And if you know how to hunt down the makers of the "fun" videos, let me know -- I'll take care of THAT little project. "Do it yourself" - my motto.

Monday, March 12, 2012

THE DANCING DEAD

We have the hit TV series, "The Walking Dead" and the follow-up show, "The Talking Dead." Now we have . . . .

THE DANCING DEAD!

Just for fun -- and it WAS fun, I began thinking of a dancing zombie and spent a while picking out a song and deciding which dances from the zombie's youth would be best. I used "The Zombie Walk" for each chorus. Then we have the Twist, The Skate, The Swim, The Pony, The Monkey, and the Shimmy. There's a little surprise at the end.

Thanks so much to all the people listed in the credits who took a Sunday afternoon and worked, helped, and laughed their way through the ordeal -- I mean fun.

Hope you enjoy watching it as much as I enjoyed making it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKb0Z1x3AUI&feature=youtu.be

Nicole did such a great job of makeup, I wanted to show a few stills from the video that Misha was able to get.

Below is the raw footage, if you want to see it. Holly cut a little of the video, as well as making it black and white for the "Security Tape" look. She did a great job of making it work.

Thanks to all who helped bring this zombie to life! Love you all!

ALLIGATOR FACTS

FLOUNDER Is about 3 feet long. He is around 7 years old, so he should be longer, but he was kept as a pet in the early part of his life, fed incorrectly, and his growth was stunted. He should eventually reach his full growth. We assume Founder is a male. I think you would have to be a cross between a gynecologist and a proctologist to find out. Gender is on a "need to know" basis. With all those little teeth he has, we don't need to know. Founder eats mice, rats, etc.

ALLIGATORS IN THE WILD:

REPRODUCTION: The female gator lays 20 to 50 white, goose-egg-size eggs and covers them with vegetation which heats as it decays, warming the eggs. Throughout the 65-day incubation period, mom remains near the nest and protects it from intruders. When she hears the high-pitched squeals of the hatching babies, she digs them out of the nest.

YOUNG: The hatchlings are 6 to 8 inches long. They stay near the mothers for about 2 years for protection from predators, such as birds, raccoons, bobcats, and other alligators. Alligators grow throughout their lives. Males can be up to 10 to 15 feet long and females reach just under 10 feet.

FEEDING: In the wild, they eat fish, birds, turtles, snakes, mammals, and amphibians. Humans have been attacked; it's best to enjoy them at a distance.

TEETH: Lucky gators have roughly 20 pairs of 1-inch-long replaceable teeth on each jaw. No dentures needed. New teeth are stacked below the gum line and push up to replace worn or lost teeth.

BREATHING: Inactive alligators can rest underwater for several hours. Even when hunting, alligators can "hold their breath" long enough to drown many species.

COLD BLOODED: Alligators regulate their body temperatures by sunning themselves when they are cold and submerging into cool water when they are too warm. All their activity is dependent on external temperature. Sluggish when they are cool, gators are less likely to hut or eat.

They are also sluggish when they have recently gorged themselves. A guide in the Okefenokee Swamp demonstrated this by locating an 11-foot-long gator which had just eaten and pulling its tail INTO YOUR ROWBOAT for us to touch. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! Did I say it was 11 feet long? Man!