That's My Story and I'm Sticking To It: Five-Year-Olds' Party

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Five-Year-Olds' Party

SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS"

At the nature center party for 5-year-olds I saw . . .
12 children wiggling,
11 mommies talking,
10 siblings fighting,
9 babies screaming,
8 grannies dozing,
7 dads on cell phones,
6 flies a-buzzing,

5 rem - i - nesc - ing gramps!

4 nursing babes,
3 wet pants,
2 naked kids,

AND A POOPING GOPHER TORTOISE!!!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment

ALLIGATOR FACTS

FLOUNDER Is about 3 feet long. He is around 7 years old, so he should be longer, but he was kept as a pet in the early part of his life, fed incorrectly, and his growth was stunted. He should eventually reach his full growth. We assume Founder is a male. I think you would have to be a cross between a gynecologist and a proctologist to find out. Gender is on a "need to know" basis. With all those little teeth he has, we don't need to know. Founder eats mice, rats, etc.

ALLIGATORS IN THE WILD:

REPRODUCTION: The female gator lays 20 to 50 white, goose-egg-size eggs and covers them with vegetation which heats as it decays, warming the eggs. Throughout the 65-day incubation period, mom remains near the nest and protects it from intruders. When she hears the high-pitched squeals of the hatching babies, she digs them out of the nest.

YOUNG: The hatchlings are 6 to 8 inches long. They stay near the mothers for about 2 years for protection from predators, such as birds, raccoons, bobcats, and other alligators. Alligators grow throughout their lives. Males can be up to 10 to 15 feet long and females reach just under 10 feet.

FEEDING: In the wild, they eat fish, birds, turtles, snakes, mammals, and amphibians. Humans have been attacked; it's best to enjoy them at a distance.

TEETH: Lucky gators have roughly 20 pairs of 1-inch-long replaceable teeth on each jaw. No dentures needed. New teeth are stacked below the gum line and push up to replace worn or lost teeth.

BREATHING: Inactive alligators can rest underwater for several hours. Even when hunting, alligators can "hold their breath" long enough to drown many species.

COLD BLOODED: Alligators regulate their body temperatures by sunning themselves when they are cold and submerging into cool water when they are too warm. All their activity is dependent on external temperature. Sluggish when they are cool, gators are less likely to hut or eat.

They are also sluggish when they have recently gorged themselves. A guide in the Okefenokee Swamp demonstrated this by locating an 11-foot-long gator which had just eaten and pulling its tail INTO YOUR ROWBOAT for us to touch. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! Did I say it was 11 feet long? Man!